Choosing Holiness When It's Hard

I'm a bit peopled-out. This week has been unusual for me, but I'm aware that God has brought me this week in preparation for a lot of weeks to come that will be similar to this one. Let me explain.

He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will be destroyed. ~Proverbs 13:20, NKJV~

I am an introvert. Introversion or extroversion is the way in which the brain actually functions, not a personality trait, contrary to popular belief. It's not something you train yourself not to be, something wrong that must be fixed. Introversion is a series of pathways in the brain that function differently than the pathways in the brains of the other 75-ish% of the population. Being shy is a personality trait, and it can be changed. Being anti-social is a personality trait, or a habit, and can be changed. Being an introvert is not changeable. Being an introvert isn't an inability to interact with others, but introversion is characterized (in some, more than others) by introspection.

Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established. ~Proverbs 4:23-26, NKJV~

Most introverts don't care much about small-talk, preferring real conversation, and most introverts are observers. Introverts can rapidly observe what's going on and come to conclusions about it, which doesn't necessitate prolonged exposure to certain situations. We already have them figured out. Most introverts draw strength and energy from solitude, and being around people can have a draining effect, to some degree or another. For me, this is particularly evident when I'm around unbridled, immature extroverts. I weary of the incessant chatter that goes nowhere, precisely because it's about nothing and accomplishes nothing.

In all labor there is profit,
But idle chatter leads only to poverty. ~Proverbs 14:23, NKJV~

Not all extroverts weary me. My husband is an extrovert, but he's a very thoughtful one. I draw strength from his presence, not his absence. My best girlfriend can be very extroverted, but she is very willing to go deep in conversation, and she strengthens me in ways I can't even explain. It's not the extroverts themselves, but it is certain actions that tend to come naturally to extroverts, as part of their brain functions, that weary me.

He who has knowledge spares his words,
And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. 

Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. ~Proverbs 17: 27-28, NJKV~

I say all this to explain what I mean by being "peopled-out." In an effort to not breech the confidentiality that I've been privileged to share, I won't give details or names.

A week ago, a situation in a family we know came to a head, and tempers were lost. As a result, a member of the family left the home for a few days, and I was drawn into that circumstance. A group of supporters came together to help the family move past the immediate crisis, and again, I was drawn into that. It has become apparent that my minor role in this family's healing process will be ongoing. While I have no wisdom of my own to offer, my husband and I have both been praying for wisdom, and God is gracious to provide it.

Surely I will pour out my spirit on you;
I will make my words known to you. ~Proverbs 1:23, NKJV~

Another family we know is going through some upheaval, and the young lady of the home has been spending time with me, as a result. Apparently, I am an acceptable influence for her, and she is in need of some godly adult encouragement. She has such incredible potential, and I long to help her understand the value of godly womanhood. I pray that God provides me opportunity to guide and help her.

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth,
And adds learning to his lips.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. ~Proverbs 16:23-24, NKJV~

My darling husband and I have begun building a business as an additional stream of income, beyond employment. Part of that requires me to work with customers and other businesses to procure that income. The business world requires an amount of superficiality that is a bit of a stretch for me. I'd forgotten that, over the past few years of telecommuting/living like a hermit. God has given us the opportunity to work with some people who know the Lord and are more interested in giving their lives in service to others than in being comfortable. We are learning to follow in their footsteps, slowly but surely.

By humility and the fear of the Lord
Are riches and honor and life. ~Proverbs 22:4, NKJV~

In the last week, I have had something every day that is out of the ordinary for me. I have had interactions with many people, which is very unusual for this hermit. I have attended 5 meetings (one of which was more than 4 hours long) and 3 appointments. I had company for a full day, and have had various people drop by the house at least once, every day, for a week, for various reasons. (Ours is not a home where dropping-by happens, nor will it become one. Fortunately, each drop-by included a preliminary call, which is what we expect.) I enjoy my solitude, my study, my continuous conversation with  my Savior, and it's something I miss when I'm required to go out and be among other people.

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter,
But the glory of kings is to search out a matter. ~Proverbs 25:2, NKJV~

Here's the thing, though. God has given me grace this week. He has used this time to help me grow and adjust. He has caused me to seek Him more, for wisdom, for guidance, as I deal with others in ways that aren't common for me. He has allowed me to be fully present in each situation, not wishing I were elsewhere, not distracted by my own internal chatter, not so busy thinking of what I'd say next that I didn't hear what others were saying. He's allowed me to accomplish much, even in the midst of all these distractions and situations. He's given me His spirit of self-control, and His insight to rightly interpret and understand.

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls. ~Proverbs 25:28, NKJV~

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ~Galatians 5:22-24, NKJV~

I couldn't have done this week without Him. I'll admit, I'm exhausted. I haven't had a lot of solitude in which to recharge. What time I've been alone, I've been in conversations, via phone, text, or computer, and have been preparing for the next meeting, interaction, or communication. I feel physically drained.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9, NKJV~

In my weakness, in my hermit-ness, in my introversion, God has been strong. This week, I've heard Him speak to me, moment by moment, that He's preparing  my people muscles for something great. He's pointed out to me that when He gives us children, this majority of my current life that I spend in solitude will evaporate into a thin mist. I won't have that luxury. He is using it now to prepare me, but this is a phase of life that is coming to an end. He has told me that if I am going to serve others, it will require my presence. If I'm going to be His hands and feet to people who desperately need Him, people He loves enough to die for them, that I'm going to need to spend time with them. I'm going to have to leave my comfort zone and be with people.

[Wisdom] takes her stand on the top of the high hill,
Beside the way, where the paths meet. ~Proverbs 8:2, NKJV~

I've never been shy. I've never had difficulty talking to people, and I enjoy public speaking. I've known for some years that He would be putting that to use, though in what way I don't yet know. But, it's much easier for me to be alone than it is for me to put myself in the presence of others. Serving God is a simple thing, until you have to deal with people. However, choosing holiness requires us to get messy, to be involved in the lives of others. It would be so much easier to assume that God will provide some extrovert to serve others and leave me to my introspection.

For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; ~Proverbs 2:6, NKJV~

But, God. God expects me to use what He has taught me in hours of introspection for the benefit of others. He has taught me to seek wisdom. He has taught me discretion. He has taught me understanding. He has taught me to listen, and to actively hear what others say. He has taught me to know His voice, quiet though it often is, and He has given me the ability to respond. Each of these lessons, hard-earned, are required for me to serve Him, else He wouldn't have taught them.

Lord, give me the ability to choose holiness, when it's hard. Help me to see where You're working and move to join You there. 

How is God asking you to choose holiness? Has He moved you into some hard territory lately? Where is He calling you to glorify Him?

Much love,
LL~